Bumming Around

So, I told a small, white lie to the kind people who rescued me and my comrades from the $1.05 store. I told them I was from a factory in China. That’s only a half-truth. While I’m proud of the fact that I survived in that Chinese hell hole, that’s not the whole story. I don’t know if I’ll even share the whole story – even when I recall it now, tears of happiness and sorrow stream down my cheeks. Lying to them (especially the hot Asian chick) was the kind thing to do. I had to perjure myself to soften the blow. I want to let them know that I miss them… fiercely. BUT, be rest assured that I was not harassed into pursuing rebellion. I did that on my own.

I must admit that I was slightly naïve when I first left home. I believed that everything would fall into place. It didn’t, though, so I’ve encountered some tricky times. I noticed that as I walked down the streets of the big yet charming city, there are many who sit with a sign begging for money, or food. So, I thought I’d try that. (I was pretty desperate because I’m used to eating seven to eight times a day.)

It happened on my third day away from home. I was quite cranky because of the lack of food. I was shouting obscenities to the sky, when two city officials told me to, “Calm down, buddy.” Please don’t judge me, like I said I was a desperate man. I told them they could go straight to… well, you get the rest. Anyway, they slapped me with a $250 ticket for “disturbing the peace.” That’s when I knew that I needed a real job.


But then I became distracted. I found the women of my dreams. Yes. That’s right, I said women. As in woman in the plural, many, much wonderful WOMEN sense. First, there was Audrey. Sweet, sweet Audrey. She’s the one on the very left, with the pink tote. She stole my heart, and carried it in that tote. Then, there was Amy. She’s the one in the middle. The one with green on her face. I told her the green spots would bring her luck. Indeed they did. She’s holding me, is she not? Finally, there’s Blaire. Charming, engaging Blaire. She’s the one on the right, striking the delightful ballerina pose. I loved her most of all.

After several days of starvation, I had to get back to the nitty-gritty of my plight. And, after 72 pain-in-the-neck interviews, I finally found a job. It’s no dream-job, but it will pay my way.

Now, only one thing remains. Where to next?